1. |
bathe with me
03:21
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“will you come and bathe with me to settle your unrest?”
you asked me from the other side of the door to the closet.
“i don’t think so...
ok, i’ll let you know.”
“can you help me remember what loving you is like?”
you asked me in a tender voice standing by the fireside.
“i sure hope so, i don’t want to let you go...”
i sat out in the freezing cold, i don’t belong inside --
you told me you would let me in if there’s nothing left to hide,
“i don’t think so...
ok, i’ll let you know.”
i packed my bags and left you, but you stopped me on my way
you said, “if this is everything, then, please, why don’t you stay?”
“because i know if i stay, i’d let you go...
because i know if i stay, i’d let you go.”
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2. |
in the living room
03:49
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don’t you think this quiet hurts?
body’s on the carpet, curled
folded like a dollar bill that doesn’t know its worth --
i’m not enough
don’t you think it’s hard for me?
loving unrequitedly?
you forget the tenderness that you’ve shown my body
now i’m unmarked land
weeping like a willow tree
in a house where you once were
i’m a bent-up suffragette and you’re just memories
that i’m here to forget
i am insignificant and you’re someone who’s free
no there’s not much left
you know that our future lies
in these achey lullabies
we’ll come together like we had, to sing about goodbyes
in the year i’m thirty-five
spinning wind on burning fire
in a field as green as new, you’ll remember that you’re mine
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3. |
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what’s the average cost of something precious that we’ve lost?
it takes us years to even wager half a guess
so, you went north and i drove south to live in someone else’s house
and you found grace in her and words she said
and time becomes the distance that slips gradually between
the last ten years that we have seen and what we see now
and silence is resistance to the path that we have made
that circles back and ‘round again and we can’t step out
so, instead, step down
try to be like Townes
and find some ease in this while we wait around
have i any sense or is it lack of self-respect to love you
even when your best is barely good?
stumbling on, i went to find the kindest accident
so i could find myself in him in other ways, i couldn’t
and no one should imagine what it’s like to harmonize
with your ruthless tell-all lines that bury me
‘cause kindness, when you had it, went so gently to your muse
with her soft nature and views of purity
it’s humbling
it’s an awkward thing
to be at the bottom of everything
if this is what’s been meant for me, then i accept with clarity
the Fates are workin’ hard to keep us bound
i’ve paid my dues, my karma’s free to cycle on with certainty
that better things are gonna come around
so, Heaven, if you’ll have us we would like to stay with you
and play blissfully in tune with what you weave
and we’ll believe in sadness as a necessary tool
not a fundamental rule in finding peace
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4. |
paint box
04:41
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paint me from memory
so that i know i’m on your mind
lose me again and again
‘til i’m the only thing you find
and write me in books ‘til the pages are full
so you read me in every line
‘cause, oh, birds on a wing
like us are too quick to love anything and see it through
so i’ll take my time with you
i’ll wait for poetry
before i speak to you in song
‘cause you gave me music in frailty
and i don’t want to get this wrong
so if art needs a space to write beauty from pain
then i’ll let this linger on
‘cause, home is only good
when misery’s sung in chorus and verse and not as the truth
so we can lose ourselves like lovers do
are we losing ourselves?
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Caitlin Connelly Banff, Alberta
Caitlin Connelly is a Rocky Mountain artist rooted in evergreen-fresh folk and small-town splendour. Inspired by canyons, caves, and excruciating break-ups, she uses thoughtfully-woven vocal melodies and fingerpicking to honestly channel emotion-filled experiences into mindful art. She is notoriously nomadic and credits motion as one of the most influential anchors in her mercurial lifestyle. ... more
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